Providing support to other members

Please take the time to review the following support tips from time to time as they are important for keeping our community safe and helpful.

You can provide a good example to our newer members by keeping your signature line up-to-date as you continue your progress on the protocol. You might want to add a link in your signature line to your own progress thread where you are encouraged to regularly share about your own progress.

As always, for urgent issues where you are not confident of offering support, you may send an email to our Admin Staff for handling.

Please remember to word your posts so that you are writing as one recovering person to another recovering person as much as that makes sense in the context of your reply.

Starting with a phrase like, “I have experienced”, or “Other members have experienced”, “I recall reading another member's post about”, or “If I were facing a similar situation”. This frames the conversation safely away from giving medical advice and can help to set a more relational tone.

In addition, our etiquette guidelines and forum policies are written to provide for the safety and benefit of all members of our support community.

When you are discussing facts and science, it is best to give links to your references for backup when possible. (Preferably links to the MPKB or reputable medical sources where appropriate.)

However, it is important to post more than links when offering support. When a person sees that their main concern has been “heard”, they will be more ready to consider additional information offered in links.

People often want to be told what to do. Don't give in to that. Each person's success depends on them making their own choices. We can tell them what has worked well for others, but it's important to avoid removing their participation in decisions about their own healthcare.

It is the responsibility of each member to consult with his or her personal physician to determine an appropriate course of treatment.

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These guidelines apply to all members, regardless of experience, background, professional standing or training.

Before you get engaged on the forums. Before you start reading and replying to posts in other member's progress threads for example, it is an excellent practice to take an inventory of your current status. Are you tired? Haven't eaten in while? Feeling mentally in a bit of a fog? Maybe a little on edge for one reason or another?

If your personal check-up reveals you needing some good self-care before you offer help to others, by all means, do what you need to do to take care of yourself first. The forums will still be here when you are back and ready to offer your perspectives from a heart that is refreshed and ready to show kindness to your fellow-travelers on the road to recovery.

If someone is not in a good place attitude-wise, sometime it's best to ignore the attitude and just answer the most important question they posted.

Also, in the unlikely event that you are not feeling very friendly, you might refrain from providing support until you are doing better. As a wise person has said, truth without love will never be transformational in the heart of another.

This is a quick checklist for determining if you are NOT in a relational frame of mind:

1. I just want to make a problem, person or feeling go away.
2. I don't want to listen to what others feel or say.
3. My mind is “locked onto” something upsetting.
4. I don't want to be connected to the people I usually like.
5. I just want to get away, or fight, or I freeze.
6. I more aggressively interrogate, judge, and fix others.

Some ways to help return to a relational state might include calmly taking some deep breaths, recalling your appreciation for a special memory of beautiful scenery or a favorite pet, or laying down to rest for a while.